How I Survived Long-Haul Flights with My Toddler, 3 Times

Any adult would feel anxious about being stuck in a tiny seat on a plane for long hours, let alone young toddlers. Trust me, I know the struggle. I have survived a 15-hour flight alone with my son, not once, but three times! If you can survive a trip like this, any other voyage with your little ones will be as easy as a walk in the park.

Practical tips to survive a 15-hour flight with a toddler.

thanksgiving turkey

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Holiday Season is finally here, which means it’s time to travel and spend some quality time with family. Sounds fun? Well, probably not so much if you need to bring your trouble-making toddler with you. What’s worse, you need to keep your cranky toddler still in a tiny seat, without losing your sanity, for more than 5 hours (or even longer). Trust me, I know the struggle. I have survived a 15-hour flight alone with my son, not once, but three times!

Any adult would feel anxious about being stuck in a tiny seat on a plane for more than 10 hours, let alone young toddlers. If you can survive a trip like this, any other voyage with your little ones will be as easy as a walk in the park.

OK, so now I am going to share my story about how I survived three 15-hour flights alone with my toddler son.

First Time Experience – How I survived long-haul flight with my 1-year-old son

If your child is older, you may skip this part and read the 2nd part of my post: How I survived long-haul flight with my 2 year old toddler (and again when he turned 3)

Before I was a parent, whenever I saw young toddlers seated around me on a plane, I would immediately feel anxious, knowing I probably won’t be able to enjoy my flight. However, after I had my own child, it was the best feeling to know that I was not the only parent with young toddlers trapped on the plane for hours!

cheer when see other toddlers on the plane

Why? Because babies cry on the plane. They literally cry over everything. So it is definitely better to have some other babies crying with my baby, then to be the only parent that takes all the blame, you know! 😛

Hurdle #1: Sleep

I am sure you have heard about this traveling tip saying “night-time flights are good for toddlers, as they can sleep for most of the time”. Well, I don’t know about your kids, but that’s definitely not the case for my son. The outcome was quite contrary to what I had expected:

When my son turned one year old, he was already too big to sleep in the in-flight baby bassinet.  So I purchased a seat for him and took the infant car seat with me, hoping that he could sleep peacefully in his car seat for hours.

However, my plan didn’t work out as expected. My one-year-old son only slept in his seat for about 1 hour, then he wanted to roll over, and got stuck (obviously he was buckled in his car seat). So he woke up, only half-awake to be accurate, and started to scream…

baby cry on plane

In order to calm him down, I had to take him out of his car seat and just let him lie on my chest. That still didn’t work. So I started to rock him back and forth…This lasted for HOURS. He never slept soundly and almost was always half awake. I, of course, didn’t get to sleep at all during this trip.

So whoever tells you to book overnight flights for your baby to sleep is either delusional or super lucky to have an angel baby.

Tried and Failed:

Book night-time flight so the baby can sleep for most of the time.

Reason:

My then one-year-old son couldn’t sleep well anywhere except in his own crib. Night-time flight can be more stressful if baby can’t sleep well.

Hurdle #2: Eat

If you intend to survive a long-haul flight with a one year old, I highly recommend you to purchase a seat for your child (although it is not required for kids under 2). First of all, it is absolutely tiring to keep holding your baby on your lap for countless hours. Most importantly, it is impossible to eat your meal by your tiny tray table, if you have to hold your baby while doing so.

If your one year old is old enough to eat airplane food, good for you! Life is much easier. However, if your baby is still too young to eat the airplane food, or if you just want to feed your baby something tastier or healthier, here are a few of my tips to help you survive:

  1. Put formula in small Ziploc bags or formula dispensers to bring them on the plane with you. I suggest asking flight attendant for bottled water as it is much cleaner. You can also use single-serve sized formula if you think it is easier for you.
  2. Bring as many snacks as possible!! This is crucial in order for you to survive any long-haul flights. Two simple reasons: (1) Babies are at their worst when they are hungry; and (2) The more time your baby spends eating on the plane, the less time left for tantrums and meltdowns. You know what I mean!
  3. Bring store-bought baby food. Here are a few of my favorites:
In addition to that, I have some other practical tips in regards of when to feed your baby:
  • Milk during take-offs and landings. This would help equalize the air pressure in their ears and decrease ear pain.
  • Solid food after you finish your meal. When it is meal time for yourself, simply secure your baby in his/her seat, finish your food first, then feed the baby. This should be the most hassle-free way to feed your baby on the plane, and your baby’s meal time is less likely to be interrupted.
  • Offer snack frequently in between. Remember, nutritional balance should be the least of your concern at this time. The rule of thumb is to try everything you can to keep your child calm and happy on the plane.

Hurdle #3: Bathroom

Usually, there is at least one lavatory with a diaper changing table on any international flights from the U.S. to another country across the oceans. (However, some domestic flights or short distance flights don’t offer diaper changing tables. You can find a list of airlines that offer diaper changing tables here.)

Before my trip, I had thought that everything was going to be fine because I could easily change my son on the changing table. Well, I couldn’t be more wrong.

My one year old apparently thought the bathroom on the plane was the scariest place in the world. He totally tensed up the second we walked into the bathroom, and started to scream from the bottom of his lung right after I put him down on the changing table.

He was not only screaming, but was fighting for his life. So I had to hold him down with one hand while changing him with the other hand. What’s worse, it was actually a poopy diaper…

explosive diaper on plane

So if your baby is easily scared like my son, be prepared for the struggle and the mess! Also, make sure to bring enough wipes and change of clothes (Don’t forget to prepare change of clothes for yourself too, just in case! You know…).

And for us adults, if you are alone with your toddler on the plane and don’t trust other passengers to watch over your child, it can also be a little tricky for you to use the bathroom.

If that’s the case for you, there are two ways to do it:

  1. Ask flight attendant for help. Some flight attendants will be happy to watch your baby for a little while when you use the bathroom
  2. Bring the baby with you. This is the only way to do it if your baby (like my son) doesn’t like strangers and/or have separation anxieties. I ended up using a baby carrier to carry him while using the toilet…It was not pretty and not easy. But as moms we do what we gotta do!

*****

When my baby was not sleeping or eating or getting his diapers changed, I would read a book, let him play with his favorite toys, or carry him and walk around. So it is extremely important to bring your baby carrier with you. I highly recommend Ergobaby 360. It is easy to use, the most comfortable and you can carry your baby forward facing in the best ergonomic seated position.Below is a pie chart I made to showcase how much time we had spent doing what we did on the 15-hour-long flight. Hopefully it can help you stay prepared.

1 year old time allocation on plane

Second Time Wasn’t Easier – How I survived long-haul flight with my 2 year old toddler (and again when he turned 3)

I thought I was a veteran after survived my first long-haul flight alone with my baby. However, only one year later, I realized that my experience from the past year didn’t help much. (Hello, terrible 2!) When my son turned 3, it was somewhat easier, but still quite similar to what I had experienced when he was 2. So I combined what I had learned into one category.

The biggest challenge I had to face, traveling with my 2 year old (or 3 year old) on a long-haul flight, was to keep him entertained in his tiny seat for over 10 hours, and at the same time, try not to disturb our neighbors…

So here are my 5 Survival Rules that I wanted to share with you:

Rule #1: Unlimited Screen Time

If you don’t allow your kids to watch TV on the plane, then my only advice will be: Brace yourself!

Really, if you want to survive a long-haul flight with any kid older than 2, you need to just let go of your screen time rules, and let them watch as much TV as they want.

When stuck on a plane with my toddler, my motto was: Anything he wants as long as he doesn’t disturb the others. If watching TV for 10+ hours can achieve that, then just let it be!

If you allow your kid to watch TV on the plane (a.k.a. every mom who wants to stay sane), here are the two must-have products to make your life easier:

  1. Large Ziploc Bag

ziploc as ipad holder on plane

With something as simple as a Ziploc bag, you can easily hang your smartphone or tablet on the tray table in from of your child. The best part is, the iPad will be on your young kid’s eye level, and you can swipe on top of the Ziploc bag too.

The bag really comes in handy when you need to put up your tray table during take-offs or landings. Also it won’t fall or shift during turbulence. And it is super cheap!

  1. Headband Earphones

headband earphone for travel

This headband earphone I found on Amazon was extremely useful. My son hated to wear anything on his head, but he loved this headband earphone. It is cute, comfortable, and it’s even volume limited so that it doesn’t get too loud. There are many other cute designs too, including unicorn, panda, frog, fox, bunny and more, Click this link to check it out.

Now, here is one thing to keep in mind. If you believe that as long as you let your toddler watch TV, the plane ride would go super smoothly, you will be disappointed. My son watched TV for so many hours that he even got bored from watching TV!!

In order to keep the entertainment experience fresh and appealing, I had to help him switch from seatback screen to iPad and switch between shows. The most annoying part during the whole process was that he liked to kept swiping and clicking randomly on the screen…

toddler skip video enough

I told him to stop, of course. But after a couple of failed attempts, I just took a deep breath and let it go. The end of the day, as long as he didn’t disturb the other passengers (according to my motto), he can do whatever he wanted

Rule #2: Mess-Free Play Time

In order to make sure my son doesn’t get sick of watching TV from non-stop cartoon marathons, I often suggested him to take a break and do something else. He usually agreed as it was tiring to keep watching TV for hours.

I tried to read to him but somehow it was hard for him to focus with all the noises on the plane. I also tried to show him one new toy at a time to keep him excited and engaged, but the toys I brought were too small, so it was somewhat boring and really easy to roll or fall to the ground. All of these made him even more anxious and frustrated, which was not good at all when you are on a 15-hour-long flight.

Tried and Failed:

Bring many small toys and take out one toy at a time to keep my child entertained.

Reason:

Small toys are not entertaining enough for young toddlers who are cranky and overtired from the long flight. What’s worse, it’s easy to lose them on the plane which can lead to major temper tantrums.

It turned out that the most entertaining and the most manageable activity for my son to do on the plane was to draw. So I discovered the following mess-free products that are the best for trips like this.

  1. Washable Crayons

washable crayon

This is the most obvious option. First, it is washable. Second, crayons are much better then markers (we all know washable markers aren’t really that washable).

  1. Color Wonder Mess Free Markers

mess free marker for planeThese markers won’t color on skin, furniture or fabric and ONLY color on the special Color Wonder paper. So you don’t have to worry about the mess at all.

  1. Melissa & Doug Water Wow Activity Pads 

water wow water reveal activity pad

These pads truly make wonders. Your kids can use the refillable water pen to “color” on the pads. And the best part is, after the pages are dry, they can do it again!!

Rule #3: Best to Be Portable

If your 2 year old still uses diapers, then it could be comparatively hassle free. However if your toddler is potty trained, you know what’s coming your way!

Everyone knows that nobody can use the bathrooms during take-offs and landings. But when a toddler, especially a boy, needs to go, it means he REALLY needs to go! What usually makes it worse is that there is always a line when the bathroom is open for use. So accidents are very likely to happen on any plane rides.

However, I have found something portable you can use to make your life a little easier.

  1. Portable Emergency Urinal

This magical invention saved my life. I think it was designed mainly for boys (for obvious reasons), but there is actually a version designed for girls, which you can try if you are curious. I used it not only on the plane, but also in the park and when he just started to potty train. A must have if you have a toddler boy!

  1. Portable Potty for Travel

This potty is useful if you don’t want your toddler to sit directly on the dirty toilet in the lavatory. It is also handy for girls to use in emergency situations. You can easily fold it and put it in your backpack. A must have as well!!

Rule #4: Be Prepared For the Hyperactive Behaviors

Any toddlers over 2, especially boys, must have so much energy to burn. When confined to a small seat, they just can’t stay still.

My son is not considered an athletic kid, but the long-haul flight still managed to turn him into a hyperactive kid.

His in-flight “workout” routines includes but not limited to: Take out all of the magazines and cards from the seatback pouch in front of him and throw them on the floor; jump on his seat; drum roll on his tray table; open and shut the window blind, etc. I even saw some other kids constantly kicking the back of the seat in front of them (which I absolutely won’t allow if my boy ever tried to do this).

In order for my son not to disturb our neighbors, I tried everything I could to stop him. But we all know that there is only so much we can do when we are stuck on a plane, and most importantly, considering the unpleasant nature of long-haul flights, sometimes it is better for your toddler to jump than to scream…

Most of the time, I would just direct him back to his cartoons. But when even TV wasn’t enough, 5 minutes surely felt like an hour. At some point you would have to just look away and pretend the toddler belongs to someone else…

i don't know him

Rule #5: Better to Lay Flat

After traveling with my then one year old on a long-haul flight, I learned that it was not a good idea to confine him in a car seat, where he couldn’t sleep well. Actually since my first traumatic experience traveling with him on the plane, I didn’t expect him to sleep for long hours on the plane at all, due to his demanding sleeping habits (he needs plenty of legroom, sleep on stomach and keep rolling around).

In spite of the low expectation, I still wanted him to nap for a little bit. So I did some research, asked around and found the following two tools that might be really helpful:

  1. JetKids

jetkids

A friend of mine used JetKids during her long-haul flight with her one year old son and it worked decently.  If you want to buy this for your next trip, please keep in mind that it is pretty bulky and not all airlines allow it. Please check with JetKids staff before you make any purchase, just to be safe.

  1. Inflatable Travel Pillow/Bed/Footrest

I saw someone using this pillow on the plane while traveling back to the U.S. and it looked pretty neat. The best part is, you can keep it in your backpack and inflate it when needed. This particular product also received pretty positive reviews on Amazon.

I eventually decided not to bring them with me mainly because I was traveling alone with my toddler and there was just no extra room. However, if my husband can also join us and when my son gets a little older (when he is 4 or 5), I will certainly give it a try!

*****

Eventually, I used the old-school way to solve the sleeping problem. I raised the armrest, let my son lay his head in my lap and sort of lie down on his side. It was not ideal but it kind of worked. My son only managed to take two short naps (about 1.5 hours at a time), but it was good enough for me…

Below is another pie chart I made to showcase how much time my toddler son had spent doing his things on the 15-hour-long flight (when he was 2 and 3 years old). Again, hopefully it can help you stay prepared.

2 and 3 year old time allocation on plane

*****

Summer time means lots of fun and frequent traveling for kids, but it could be a headache for the parents. Hang it there and let’s try to survive this together 😉

6 Things My One-Year-Old Toddler Did That Almost Drove Me Crazy

Toddlers are hands down 10 times worse than infants! They learned to reject, to defy and to whine…But they haven’t learned to communicate themselves yet. These are the perfect recipe for the inevitable tantrums and meltdowns…

The biggest challenges I had faced as a mother in my Second Year of Motherhood

This year is certainly the least-talked-about year. But I would say the second year of motherhood is not any easier. Many moms are prepared for the new mom struggles and “terrible twos”, but didn’t know much about what they would go through after their babies turn one year old.

So my baby turned one year old. He became a little human, not a chubby infant anymore. Of course, I thought it would get better. “At least he can understand better now!”, so I said to myself. Nope, it actually got worse. Toddlers are hands down 10 times worse than infants! They learned to reject, to defy and to whine…But they haven’t learned to communicate themselves yet. These are the perfect recipe for the inevitable tantrums and meltdowns…

But here is the silver lining: Although what you have been through with your one-year-old toddler could be a lot tougher than before, most of the problems with one-year-olds can actually be solved! (Unlike how it was in the first year, when you had to wait for your baby to slowly grow out of it most of the time).

Amongst all the challenges I had experienced in my second year of motherhood, the following 6 things were the worst that almost drove me crazy:

1.  He turned into a super picky eater!

mom mad at picky eater

It definitely ranked #1 on my list. My son was a pretty good eater when he was just an infant. He started solid when he was 5.5 months old and almost ate everything we offered (except those he was allergic to). His favorite was actually vegetables, such as sweet peas, carrots or even green beans.

However, after he turned one, he started to drop everything one by one. There was no reasons, no signs. Just one day, all of a sudden, he refused to touch the sweet peas. Two weeks later, he refused to eat carrots. They always say to try everything when the kids were young so that they don’t turn into picky eaters. Well in my case this was far from the truth.

I could spend 30 minutes just to prep a small healthy meal for him, only to find the food lying on the floor, because when my son didn’t like them, he spit them out and threw them on the ground. He was a stubborn little man. I tried everything for him to eat healthy, but all failed. The most frustrating part was that I never knew what was going to happen. Because his favorite meal from yesterday could be something he hates today.

My Solution:

It was extremely hard to find a perfect solution to this problem. After trying everything, I realized that the most important “skill” parents need to have is patience, and the most effective “tricks” that actually worked are exposure, exposure AND EXPOSURE! Exposure means to always offer what adults eat to the child, include your child in meal-time conversations, and encourage your child to try something new even if he or she spits it out right away. Patience simply means that we should never give up. Keep in mind that kids might have sensory issues, but they will eventually grow out of it (given enough exposure). Also, I learned that electric toothbrushes actually helped; at least, it worked for my son. So it is also worth a try!

2.  He was so easily frustrated!

toddler mad at everything

One-year-old toddlers, especially the strong-willed ones, are extremely cranky and easily frustrated. Here are just a few of the reasons that might cause the frustrations:

(1) They now have needs more than just eat and sleep, which are harder for us to attend to.

(2) They often don’t know what they want, but only how they feel (such as being upset and unsatisfied).

(3) They are not able to communicate verbally.

(4) They have zero patience (due to lack of sense of time).

These needs and feelings combined could have made anyone frustrated, let alone one-year-old toddlers, who don’t know how to control their emotions at all.

My son used to get frustrated over every little things, or even sometimes over nothing, especially when he just woke up from his naps. He always woke up crying, after a peaceful two-hour-long nap. It was really hard to deal with him at that time, as I didn’t even know the cause of all those meltdowns. He could be very happy, but started to scream one minute later. Some of my parent friends even call it “terrible one”, because it was so terrible.

My Solution:

Well, dealing with one-year-old tantrums is very hard, as it is impossible to reason with them. However, we can try to avoid things that can possibly trigger the meltdowns (this might help but unfortunately not guaranteed to work.). First of all, any toddlers get cranky when they are tired or hungry. So make sure to feed them small snacks throughout the day and make sure they get enough sleep. Sticking to a fixed daily schedule might help. Second, do not overwhelm them by showing them too many options (i.e. if a shape sorter includes blocks with 9 different shapes, you can let your toddler to start with only 2 or 3 shapes). Third, do not interrupt when they work on something, but make sure to watch them and offer help whenever necessary. Last but not least, if they cry for no reasons (or for things that you can’t allow them to have), just distract them. There are many ways to distract a one year old, such as to point at something outside the window, bring him his favorite toys, or just blow some bubbles.

3.  He got sick all the time…

baby sick and cried all night

My mom used to say, “when babies stop drinking breast milk, they start to get sick”. It was definitely the case for my son. It all started with running nose, coughs, then high fever to top it off.  It got worse after I sent him to a part-time daycare after he turned 18 months. Putting him in daycare was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, because my son had improved so much socially and academically after he started daycare. However, he also got sick a lot more often for the obvious reasons.

My son got RSV on his first day in daycare. It was the worst we had ever experienced as he had really high fever (104.5) and refused to eat or drink (probably due to sore throat or upset stomach). He got so dehydrated that we had to rush him to ER for IV. The second worst was hand-foot-and- mouth disease. His whole tongue was swelling up and he couldn’t eat anything. He got very frustrated as he didn’t know that his tongue was the problem, but thinking it was the food that hurt his tongue. It took a while for us to convince him to eat normally again after he recovered.

For a strong-headed one year old, it was hard for them to understand a lot of things. They didn’t even know what was “being sick”. All they could tell was they felt so uncomfortable and they hated it. They didn’t understand that in order to recover from the illness they had to go through certain procedures. It was hard to get them do anything: drink water, eat fruit, see doctor, get shots, drink medicine, or even sleep…seemed to be torture to them, and everything became a two-man job (i.e. one parent to hold him down, while the other feed him medicine, etc).

The worst part is that you don’t get to sleep anymore when they are sick. They felt extremely uncomfortable when they woke up in the middle of the night, mostly due to stuffy nose or sore throat. They could wake themselves up just by coughing, and then burst into tears. All of these were understandable, but so hard for parents to handle. So yea, it almost drove me crazy.

My Solution

Getting sick is a natural process for immune system to mature. So technically it is not bad for our toddlers to get sick once in a while. But the process was such a drag that we of course want to prevent it from happening too often. What we can do is to make them drink plenty of water, eat plenty of fruits, and make sure to wash their hands often. On the other hand, we need to be prepared by stocking up the necessary over-the-counter medicines, such as fever reducer, saline and Pedialyte (for them to stay hydrated), to reduce their symptoms. If the room is too dry at night, make sure to turn on humidifier, which will help to ease a stuffy nose. Most importantly, we need to take care of ourselves, too. This was, however, easier said than done, as I unfortunately got the germs from my son almost every single time and it was not pretty…

4.  Rough transition from 2 naps to 1 nap.

kid refuse to nap

My son used to be a champion at napping before he turned one. Oh how I miss the precious freedom when he took two naps a day. He obviously doesn’t nap in the morning anymore. This is not even the worst part. The transition from 2 naps to 1 was the part that almost drove me crazy.

So one day, my then 15-month-old toddler took his morning nap and finished his lunch, but never wanted to lie down again for the afternoon nap. I tried everything, but he was just standing there in his crib. So I ended up taking him out of the crib, and played with him. After a couple of hours, my toddler appeared to be very tired, getting super fuzzy and cranky. So I put him to bed to nap at 4pm (huge mistake). He woke up at 6pm, fresh and excited, and of course refused to go to bed again at 7:30pm, which was his regular bedtime.

I thought it was just a one-time thing, but I couldn’t have been more wrong! It happened again and again. Then, I came to realization that maybe it was time to eliminate the morning nap all together.

It was definitely hard work to keep him awake till he finished his lunch. For any strong-willed toddlers, being hungry and overtired at the same time was the number one reason for major uncontrollable tantrums. Plus he was a picky eater. It took so much energy out of me just trying to stay calm. If this also happened to you, hang in there! We’ve all been there and this too shall pass.

My Solution:

The 3 keywords for the transition period to go a little smoother are: morning snacks, early nap, and early bedtime. I made sure he didn’t get hungry in the morning by adding one more morning snack. I also moved up his nap time from 1pm to 11:30am to make sure he was not overtired before nap. Sometimes, I fed him a big snack around 11am (such as yogurt or cheese sticks), and put him straight to bed. Then after he woke up from nap in the early afternoon, I would feed him his late “lunch”. After keep adjusting for over a week, I managed to get by with this new schedule: Lunch at 11am and nap at 11:30am. Because he skipped morning nap, sometimes his afternoon nap could last for 3 to 3.5 hours. The best part was I finally got to move his bedtime up to 7pm, as he would be actually tired by then. Hallelujah!

5.  The reckless little guy can no longer be contained.

toddler cant be contained

It was so cute and sweet to see my son taking his first steps, but starting from that moment, my life as a mother was turned upside down. This little guy became mobile and can’t be contained anymore. (This can happen before they turn one, but for my son it happened after he became a willful one-year-old toddler.)

They don’t understand what danger is, so they want to touch anything or eat anything they touch. They would charge to the middle of the street just to pick up a piece of leaf. They could open all the drawers in your house and take everything out. Some can even open the doors and just wander out of the room. They want to be out and about all the time. Unfortunately, chilling-at-home is no long an option for them.

This sometimes happened right after they can crawl. But trust me, walking independently and crawling are completely different stories!

My Solution:

Baby proof everything is definitely one of the obvious solutions. Make sure the drawers can’t be opened easily and the outlets are covered. Pack all your loose items away as they are choking hazard. Install large baby playpens (play yards) or baby gates to prevent your toddlers from wandering into the bathroom or kitchen. You can find a lot of articles online with tips to thoroughly baby proof your house. Personally, I believe that I should try to never let my one year old out of my sight. You just don’t know what could happen when you are not around. But when I needed a break, I would put him in his play yard and gave him his favorite toys (this unfortunately didn’t work for me 60% of the time, see #6 below). In addition, make sure to always buckle them in the stroller when you walk through a busy area with lots of cars. Let them run free in a safe area, but again always keep a close distance and don’t let them wander out of your sight.

6.  He became super clingy and scared of strangers.

kid being clingy

If you think the upside of toddlers being mobile is that they can be more independent, you will be disappointed. Yes, they would try to run away from you all the time when you are watching them. However, just as you needed some time to yourself and wanted to take a break, they would turn into some clingy whiny babies who just wanted to cuddle with mommy.

I still remember that night, when I needed to make dinner for him, I put him in his play yard (packed with toys), thinking he would be happy to play by himself for 20 minutes. We have an open kitchen, so I could see him just fine and he could see me as well from his play yard. But instead of playing peacefully by himself, he stood by the gate, staring at me while crying his lungs out. I thought he was being unreasonable, as I already spent a whole day with him, so I just let him cry for a couple of minutes. But he somehow managed to cry so hard that he puked…I know I sound like a mean mother, but at that moment, I was so frustrated!

Also after he turned one, he apparently got smarter, knowing me and daddy were different from the other adults, who can be a threat. As a result, he developed stranger anxiety and got very scared of anyone other than me and my husband. It took as long as 30 minutes just for him to warm up and sometimes even longer. According to experts, this is a sign of healthy bond between a child and the parents. But as parents, we also felt frustrated as our child became a scaredy-cat and couldn’t even enjoy himself very much in public settings.

My Solution:

As all of this being a sign of healthy mother-child bond, I didn’t really want to “toughen him up” by pushing him away at this age. So the only solution here was to take him with me everywhere, and to ensure him that mommy loves him and wasn’t going to leave him alone. I put him in a highchair and moved him to the kitchen so that he could see me cooking. I even took him with me to the bathroom when I needed to go. I took him outside every day and encouraged him to play with the kids in the neighborhood. I also brought him to “mommy & me” classes to social with other kids right by my side. This meant zero me time for myself whenever he was awake (except when he was at daycare part-time, thank god!), but at least I knew it was good for him to build confidence, also it led to less tears and meltdowns.

My son is 3 years old now and we certain have come a LONG way. In the past 3 years I have experienced and grown so much as a mother and as a person, that I feel obligated to share what I have learned with all of the strong headed mommies out there, who have had the same struggles. I have planned to write about “Mommy’s Biggest Challenges” in 3 parts, and this is the second part. So please stay tuned for the third part. I will be writing about how I dealt with my strong-headed boy and his “terrible two”. :p

If you are interested, here is the 1st part of the series:

8 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Became A First-Time Mom